In Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps, Michael Douglas chews up the scenery once more as the love-to-hate shark-broker Gordon Gekko. The wheeler-dealer from the '88 classic Wall Street is fresh out of the slammer for insider trading-and even Gekko is stunned by what he sees in the good ol' GSA-Greedy States of America: "Someone reminded me I once said greed is good. Now it seems it's legal."
Legal? Yeah right ... until they get caught! Busted fraudsters are suddenly popping out of the closet, after years of conning, grifting and playing: Here a Ponzi, there a Ponzi, everywhere a Ponzi Ponzi... They're part of a new G-Team-and G isn't just for Greed anymore but for Geezers. If greed is as old as the hills, so are these con men. The new greedsters are oh-so-respectable aging pillars at the top of their game!
Look at "financial adviser" Ken Starr, 66, indicted this summer for allegedly bilking a Who's Who of A-listers from Barbara Walters to Bunny Mellon to the tune of $60 mil. Starr denies all charges of wire and securities fraud and money laundering-and of course in the GSA is innocent until proven greedy. But, er, it is a little suspicious that the Feds nabbed him where the sun don't shine-hiding in the bedroom closet of his Upper East Side mega-triplex (with swimming pool and 1,500 square-foot garden of course). Talk about literally popping out of the closet!
Here a Ponzi, There a Ponzi,
everywhere a Ponzi Ponzi...
And what about con "artist" Larry Salander-now chilling for six years in the cooler. The 61-year-old art dealer to the Rich & Glitzy pawned off stolen paintings cheaply or sold pieces of the pie in the same painting to multiple clients-then pocketed the dough. His $120 mil, decade-long rip-off spree soaked the likes of Robert De Niro (who entrusted him with his artist dad's estate) and John McEnroe. Why? Well, what G-Team player wouldn't sell his Mommy to live like a sky-high roller? The Old Masters dealer-or is it Old Greed Master?-had his own private collection: five-story Upper East Side gallery, 60-acre Millbrook estate equipped with baseball stadium, and of course his chartered private jets.
And in fact greed is so out of the closet you can now swindle victims and get a chance to gamble in Vegas to repay them! Consider 59-year-old broker (and card shark on the side) Sam McMaster, who conned nearly $500 grand from innocent clients. He's just struck a deal with New Mexican authorities that let him stay out of the can-if he can recoup enough at the poker table to repay his victims! Hey, greed pays-at least for a while!
Of course not all G-Team swindlers fleece trusting clients. Some are out to cheat Uncle Sam. Ex-Manhattan borough prez Andy Stein was arrested the same day as Ken Starr for an alleged unpaid $2 mil tax bill. Seems like Andy (who reportedly pocketed millions in bogus consultant fees) was trying to jumpstart a hedge fund, giving oh-so-private dinners for A-list pals like Warren Beatty and Shirley MacLaine while mixing in a few Wall Street honchos to go for the kill. But nothing panned out, and not only was poor Andy handcuffed and hauled off to jail (out on bail now), he had to toss off the toupee while behind bars-oh my!
Hey, maybe these bad boys graduated from the Madoff School of Business Ethics. Of course they're small fry compared to the $65 billion-scamming scumdog. I mean, Bernie is G-Team captain for life.
So what's with these GGs-greedy geezers? Did they get away with their con jobs for so long that they honestly thought their fingers would never get caught in the cookie jar? They peddle their charm and trust as easily as phony securities. They are masters of the Insecurities Business! They prey on the rich who don't know how to grow their money and sell them their charming, trusting friendship. These greedsters suffer from geezer gilt!
Let that be a warning to the rest of you out there who may be in line for the slammer. Stop now ... if you can!
Meanwhile, let's party!
Enjoy The Sheet!
Joan Jedell appears on national and local TV.
Her photographs are syndicated worldwide. |