Dottie Herman, president and CEO of Prudential Douglas Elli man Real Estate, began her career on Long Island , and later purchased Prudential Long Island Realty, in 1989. Her mantra of “Never say never” has helped Dottie become one of the most powerful women in real estate.

After turning Prudential into the powerhouse brokerage of Long Island and the Hamptons , Herman purchased Douglas Elliman, Manhattan 's largest brokerage, along with her partner Howard Lorber, in 2003. Since then, Prudential Douglas Elliman has become the largest and fastest-growing real estate firm in New York .

Herman, who is celebrating 10 years of business in the Hamptons , now has a growing number of offices in the real estate gold mine out east and continues to expand her horizons to the North Fork, as well as New Jersey , Florida , Turks and Caicos, and the Cayman Islands . Under her leadership, the company has become an $11.7 billion business, and is on track to hitting $13 billion.

Dottie has infused her work life with her personal life as “guardian” to 4,000 employees, mother to one daughter, and, most recently has become a young G-ma (we don't use the G word). She has earned her comfortable lifestyle. After losing her mother at 10 years old in a car accident, Dottie developed a headstrong mindset that made her work hard for everything she wanted in life.

We sat down with this steadfast power player in her beautiful Southampton home for a heart-to-heart chat about business, life, family, and spirituality.

Hampton Sheet: How did you first get into real estate?

Dottie Herman: I got into the business as kind of a fluke. I was a financial planner at Merrill Lynch, and they got into real estate in the mid-eighties across the country.

Did you ask for advice before buying Prudential?

When I told people I was buying Prudential, I was in my early 30s. It was $9 million, and I didn't have the money and they laughed in my face. The banks even laughed in my face, but somehow I did it. I told them I was buying Manhattan , and it wasn't long after 9/11, and I was going to open up and spend a lot of money for Manhattan . People said, “You're crazy. You're putting everything on the line.” I believed in New York City . I said if there's ever anything that happens in New York City , I'll have an arrow that says “HAMPTONS THAT WAY!” It's a win-win business investment!

What, if any, were your fears at the time you bought Prudential?

Once I decide I’m going to do something, there are no words of failure or fear in my vocabulary. I’m doing this. I certainly had doubts that I didn’t know how I was going to get through it. But I always thought, I will find a way. As long as you have your health, there’s always a way.

So in other words, you don’t go with everyone else’s flow. You seem to create your own.

I think that most people are followers, and I’m not. But you can’t be afraid to fail, you see, because nobody makes every right decision. I keep something in my office that says, “Failure is success turned inside out.”

Is there an age at which people should say, “Well, I shouldn’t really buy anything anymore. I’m too old now to own something and have all those payments.”

I think that if you’re in your 60s or 70s, you don’t want to take risks that you can’t afford. But people in their 60s and 70s today feel like they’re 50.

How many employees do you have?

Probably 4,000.

Four thousand people pulling on you? [laughs]

Well, it’s like a family. You take the good with the bad. Sometimes there’s a little dysfunction. It’s like having 4,000 kids, only I don’t want to be their mommy anymore.

How do you inspire people to be great?

Because they know I won’t be satisfied with any less.

Do you think anyone has reached greatness in the company?

No. I don’t think any of us have. I think to reach great is about sustaining that. It’s not just one year or two. It’s constantly striving and reaching success and staying on top.

Do you think success has gone to your head?

No, not at all. I’m very grounded. It will never go to my head.

What’s the real estate buzz now for the Hamptons and New York?

Well, both are very strong. Now, with this whole mortgage fiasco that’s going on, a lot of people are worried. Although I haven’t seen it affect anything yet. I think the Hamptons and New York City will withstand anything because they’re prime locations. I do think that what will happen as a result of this is that credit will tighten up, which means people that borrowed more than they could afford are not going to be able to borrow as much. For most of the high-end property, that isn’t the case. I think it will affect the lower end. If you have cash now, look around. Cash is king.

What drives you?

It’s not only about succeeding; it’s my vision. I’m not only about money. Obviously I like nice things, but I’m not driven by money. I have a vision and I’m driven by achieving it. The money is the report card for what happens when you achieve it.

Tell me about your vision.

First of all, everybody loves real estate, and people identify with who they are by what they live in and where they live. It’s like a dress, like a shoe; it’s part of who you are. And we want to be young—forever. So, normally someone would say, “Gee, I’m in my 50s, my kids are now in college or married. I can scale down now.” Instead they’re saying, “Hey, listen, I’m on my second or third marriage and I want to have my dream house that I never had.” And they don’t want to retire and live in Florida 24/7.

Tell me about your professional relationship with Howard Lorber.

First of all, Howard saved my life. I met him before I came to the city. I just had a Long Island company and I mortgaged everything I could to open up in the Hamptons. I had a bad situation with a past partner and my attorney introduced me to Howard, who believed in me. He backed me at a time when my business wasn’t so big. He really stood behind me. If it weren’t for Howard, I wouldn’t be sitting here with you now.

What’s your schedule like? How do you balance your personal and business lives, or is it seamless?

I’m 24/7, and I incorporate my business into my life. It’s all the same to me.

How do you manage to get in family time?

It’s a balance. I’ve been balancing my whole life. Everybody says, “Dottie, you’re so stressed, you have so many things to take care of…” I say the day I don’t have stress, that’s when I’ll drop dead. Not having any stress could give me a heart attack. Can you imagine sitting with nothing to do?

So I gather you’re not big on taking vacations?

No. When I go away, after a week I start to get antsy. I’ll take a short vacation, but I’ll never retire. I’ll always be doing something. A lot of people think that retirement will be utopia. Before they retire or sell their businesses or stop doing whatever it is they do, they should really think about it.

What price do you feel you’ve paid for success?

You lose some of your life, you know. Everyone’s like, “Why aren’t you enjoying the Hamptons, Dottie? Why aren’t you enjoying your house here? Why aren’t you socializing?” and I’m like, “Well, I borrowed $72 million, I have to pay off a loan. I think I have to work!”

Would you have done anything differently?

The best place to be in life is where you have choices.

What are some defining moments in your life?

I think that in life you have some defining moments and some significant people that really shape and mold the way your life turns out. One defining moment was when my mother died—I was 10 years old. Having my daughter was another. Getting through the real estate business strongly was also a defining moment.

Do you consider yourself a role model for young girls?

Yes. As someone once said to me when I was 26 years old, “If you’re doing what everyone else is doing, then you’re average.” And I never wanted to be average. So if you’re going to be an entrepreneur and a leader, you won’t be doing what everybody else is doing—it’s lonely at the top.

Would you say that you have many friends?

Well, what do you define as friends? I would say that I have a handful of friends and a lot of people that I’m friendly with. I don’t have the time. I have some good friends, but to be a good friend of mine, you have to understand that I come in and out.

Do you ever look at your competition?

I don’t really focus on it. I’ve always said, especially in the city, I don’t look at my competition because paying attention takes your eye off the ball of your vision…. One of my favorite books is Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap…and Others Don’t because one of the sayings that I think is so significant in that book is “Most companies aren’t great … because the biggest enemy of great is good.”

So it’s been quite a wild ride becoming “Queen of the Hill.”

I have to tell you, it’s been terrific because of all the great people I’ve met, like yourself. I think for someone to be great at something they have to be passionate and love it. I really love what I do, so it doesn’t feel like work. If you start to feel like something is a job, you’re never going to be great at it. I consider myself very lucky to have found that.

Do you have any special projects or events coming up?

I was just invited to Dubai in October, expenses paid, to the International Conference for Thinkers of the World. It’s Nobel Prize winners, famous physicians, entrepreneurs … from all over the country. I am so honored to be a part of that. I think when things happen to you, there’s a reason, good and bad. When bad things happen, I ask myself, “What am I supposed to see in this bad experience?” I am very spiritual, I’m not religious but I am spiritual—I’m open to the universe. [HS]