"I fell in love with Jazzy the first night we slept together."
JJ:
What’s it like for Jazzy to live with a gossip columnist? Does he find it hard to concentrate on his daily activities because you’re busy chatting up sources on the phone?
CA:
My dog needs an awful lot of attention, and if he’s getting no attention while I’m on the phone, he becomes resentful. He tries to get my attention while I’m on the phone, which is just what Joey used to do. If Joey wanted to talk, I’m telling you this is utterly bizarre, when Joey wanted to talk to me about something important like his future or his will or our bank account, or our broker, he would pick the minute I was on the phone and would say, ‘listen, I want to talk.’ And I’d say, ‘Joey, give me ten minutes.’ And when I’m on the phone that’s when Jazzy will start to lick my face! This is sick! How did I get this?
JJ:
That’s outrageous. Who are some of Jazzy’s celebrity play dates and do they share secrets? Has he ever given you a hot piece of gossip?
CA:
He gives me plenty of poop! He has play dates with the world’s famous—Judge Judy’s dog, Lulu, Joan River’s Max, Veronica, and Spike. His best friend is Blaine Trump’s Yorkie, Pearl. He goes to the same trainer as Isabella Rosellini’s dachshund. He has a trainer, a groomer, an exerciser, a housekeeper, a driver, and now has a boutique in his name [the new “Jazzy Park Avenue” at Macy’s] and he has a Dennis Basso golden sable coat (I don’t)!
JJ:
Wait a minute, does Jazzy KNOW he’s a DOG?
CA:
No, no. NO! NO! Jazzy thinks I’m the dog! Jazzy runs the house! And if I ignore him, like, say, I’m talking to the President of the United States on the phone; he will stand there and nip at me until I pay attention to him. And that’s because he’s the alpha dog, he’s the top dog in the house! Jazzy walked on the buttons of the phone when Noriega called me from prison, and I lost the call. When Imelda Marcos was staying here a year ago, Jazzy somehow managed to close the door and lock her out of the house on Christmas day. He has created difficulty sometimes.
JJ:
Totally spoiled!
CA:
Yeah ... I guess I have to unspoil him. No, it seems I’ve not reared him right, because you know he is really very selfish.
JJ:
Did you spoil Joey?
CA:
Well, Joey got preference for everything in the house. He always did. We had dinner when he wanted it; we had the food he wanted.
JJ:
All along? In all the years you were married?
CA:
Well, see, in the first years, I was nothing and a nobody, a little girl; I was a teenager. And then when I became something, Joey had become quite fragile. So, although the wheel had turned and I was a bit more of a somebody than I had been, I was still always second place.
JJ:
Can Jazzy do any tricks?
CA:
Oh, no. Jazzy can’t do any tricks. We’re trying to teach him to pee on The New York Times and to lick my column in the The New York Post! We’re putting little bits of cheese on my face, so that he will lick it. And we’re putting wee-wee pads under the Times.
JJ:
So Jazzy has trained you?
CA:
Yes, he is, um, a bit demanding.
Man’s best gossip maven
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Jazzy claims his spot
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In love
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