Onlookers watched as the magnificent Queen Mary 2 (QM2), the world’s largest passenger ocean liner, glided across the foggy Hudson for its first arrival in New York. The Sheet was invited to the Inaugural Dinner and Tour, where we chatted about the voyage at the quaint (156-seat) Todd English Restaurant with Paul Wright, the ship’s captain, with whom we were seated.

The QM2 followed the same frigid northern route that doomed the Titanic (which sank on April 15, 1912), although modern navigation equipment kept it from thumping any icebergs. Despite very high seas, this mammoth new vessel still managed an almost on-time arrival six days after its departure from Southampton, England, on its maiden trans-Atlantic crossing to New York. Even passengers with iron stomachs and nerves of steel felt like they were inside a washing machine, as the ship battled 30-foot waves and force-10 gales of up to 63 miles per hour! Said New York Post gossip queen Cindy Adams, who braved the voyage from England aboard the QM2: “Tony Bennett left his heart in San Francisco? I left my stomach off Newfoundland.” Upon reaching New York, Cindy declared, “I’m here. America ... I love you land, I love you. Buildings, streets, cement, I love you. When this magnificent ship pulled in, I kissed the ground. I kissed homeless bums. I kissed people I don’t even like.”

The Cunard Line’s newest and largest liner, which cost $800 mil, was led into port by an escort of fireboats (spouting patriotic red, white, and blue water), tug boats, police cruisers and helicopters, and Coast Guard vessels. Once docked, the ship was guarded from terrorist attacks by tight post-September-11th security.

The extraordinary vessel boasts a theater; a disco; a planetarium, cinema, and broadcast studio; a library and Internet café; and a Canyon Ranch spa. There are five swimming pools, 14 bars and clubs, a dozen dining rooms, afternoon tea nooks, a jogging track, sports facilities, a putting green, a play space and British nannies for the kids, a kennel with exercise space, and eight Mayfair shops (including Hermès and Dunhill).

Our delectable Todd English dinner included, for starters: lobster and baby corn chowder with whipped parsnips, black truffles and potatoes; oven-fried asparagus and morel tart with caramelized onions; and cucumber-spun yellow-fin-tuna tartar with crispy, fried rock shrimp, warm sesame dressing, and whitefish caviar. The first course included: grilled sirloin served over Tuscan bruschetta with Vidalia onion, Roquefort cream, peas and country ham; brown-butter-sautéed turbot filet served with spinach and Fingerling potato salad; garlic shrimp and citrus vinaigrette. The dessert menu included: chocolate fallen cake in a sauce of raspberries with vanilla ice cream; warm chocolate-pudding cake with chocolate sorbet; and mandarin-orange crème brûlée with berry salad and citrus short bread.

After dinner, we asked the ship’s adventurous captain one last question before disembarking: “Was the sea a man or a woman?” Wright, who has never been married, responded with a grin, “Oh, of course, a woman!” It would be highly competitive for any woman to deal with this man’s first love. As the saying goes, ‘Art is a jealous mistress,’ and so is the sea. As Wright spoke of his addiction to the sea, and how he isn’t comfortable on land for too long, we could see the waves sweeping across his eyes. We suppose that if a man can understand the many trials and tribulations of the sea, he can understand any woman. To quote the 70s song “Brandy (You’re A Fine Girl),” …“but my life, my love, and my lady is the sea.”