The world is moving so fast it soon won't be recognizable in the way we know it. A British scientist, Kevin Warwick, recently implanted a silicon chip in his own arm that opens doors, switches on lights and his computer. American doctors at Emory University have implanted a microchip in a stroke victim's brain that lets him move a cursor on a computer screen just by thinking about it. The cyber-future is here, and don't be surprised if trendy A-listers are the first to get in line for the ultimate implant.

Just think. With chips (rather than rocks) in the head, a thought could be transmitted immediately if not sooner into action. The Rich & Glitzy would show up at 10 parties at once. Type A-list honchos could transact business from bed or potty in a flash. In other words, whenever Ron Perelman dreams up a scheme, the thought would instantly be a done deal–without haggling or heartburn. And heart attacks will be finito because the world will finally get in sync with nonstop movers and shakers. Peggy Siegel could wish herself into any party, and Richard Johnson could finally scoop up all the dirt he craves by reading everyone's mind.

And talk about wireless–with microchips in the brain, cell phones will be history. (For those who already experience ringing in the ear, it opens up a whole new body communications system.) Frantic A-listers could receive and return 10 calls at once … though you may not be able tell apart those who already talk to themselves from those who have a call coming in … but then again, what's the difference? Jet-setters who need to babble in a dozen languages might have a special chip inserted that lets them automatically speak the tongue of whatever country they're partying in that day. And forgetful socialites with so many lunches, fashion shows, and galas vying for their attendance need only install more RAM to increase memory, hit every benefit–and eradicate Alzheimer's forever!

Of course, microchips aren't the only future implants of choice. Researchers everywhere are trying to grow replaceable body parts in labs. That means Hollywood beauties won't have to worry about facelift – head transplants, anyone? (Get in line behind the "Bride of Wildenstein.") And other cyber-wonders are in the works. Pregnant women will no longer look like oversized kangaroos when carrying a baby in the womb is a thing of the past–the petri dish will be where it's at. And what about DNA transplants? For example, if my deceased mother's DNA were transplanted into my daughter, she could give birth to her grandmother, and I could complete my relationship with my mother!

A-listers with servants (and who among them doesn't have a stable?) should be thrilled that Japanese scientists have now created robots that walk, talk and dance (they claim robots will surpass human intelligence in 50 years). What Hamptons hostess wouldn't give her right arm to have a staff of robots serving and cleaning up at her private dinner party? (Robots don't pocket the silver or ask for raises …. but in time will they???) As robots become more human and humans become more "robotized," the inevitable result is a "Hum-Bot." Now with Hum-Bots you'll never have to deal with an outsized ego again–just think, dinner table seatings won't cause problems ever again. And women will definitely become less dependent on men. Sex will be merely a matter of "plugging in" either with your robotized mate or the right computer program. The only downside is, it could be uncomfortable sleeping in a battery charger. But what's a little discomfort compared to a future of endless possibilities? Or, is this Big Bro's hidden agenda to control us?

Of course, all this is about life on Earth. With the discovery of water on Mars, high society may soon abandon the Hamptons and flock to the Red Planet, where beaches are less crowded and beachfront property a steal compared to Sagaponack. And you won't have to schlep for hours on the LIE to get there!

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