The 2003 Lupus Gala was held at the Marriott Marquis to benefit the S.L.E. (Systemic Lupus Erythematosus) Foundation. Honors went to Nancy and Harold (“Terry”) McGraw and Dr. Lee Simon for their achievements in the struggle against lupus. CNN’s Andrea Koppel hosted, and famed songwriter Paul Williams performed for the successful event, which raised an extraordinary $1.6 mil!

Chatting with Mayor Bloomberg, who arrived to show support for the cause, we offered some innovative suggestions on how to improve our great city. “How about banning outdoor smoking as well as indoors?”

Open to new ideas, he finally asked, “And how would you do that?” We explained how easy it could be: Station “porto-smokies” in the streets, and put the smokers in them — “like caged animals.”

Having his ear, we also proposed an “Everything Parade,” which would be like an “everything bagel,” having the Gay Pride, Salute to Israel, Pakistani-American, Puerto Rican, Hindu, Irish-American, Norwegian-American, and Polish contingencies marching all together. America is a melting pot, no? Then, we could eliminate all the separate parades for the rest of the year that tie up our city.

After some sustained contemplation, he said, “I don’t think so.”

Well, we tried.